Sunday, 28 February 2016

'MY DOOMSDAY MOMENT': The Lost 'SIGNATURE IDENTITY'

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Each and every human on this earth is God gifted with a 'Signature Identity'  A little complex right?? Okay, Let me explain then. If I name 'Albert Einstein' the first thing that strike our mind is 'Extraordinary Intelligence'. What about Lata Mangeshkar , 'Extraordinary mesmerizing voice' every one can say without even a single thought. Likewise for 'Preity Zinta' it would be 'Extraordinary cute smile with a deadly dimple in her cheek'. Anyway, they are celebs and have strongly established their identities in this world. Forget those stars. They are out of our reach. What about us, the mango people!! All of us too carry a particular 'Signature Identity', I believe. If we walk down to the memory lane leading to our school days and randomly recall the names of our schoolmates, a definite impression or identity would come flowing into mind. Someone was great dancer and was used to steal the entire stage and spotlight. Some used to stand first throughout the entire school life quite miraculously, someone was fantastic to talk to or someone  was awesome to look at. 
     Likewise, the surrounding world assigned 'The ultimate hard worker' identity to me. My teachers, my parents and friends had a strong belief like 'She may not possesses an outstanding intelligence quotient (IQ) but her dedication, sincerity and hard work can shake the stage'. It feels really prestigious when you are fixed with such a dignified signature identity by the world and keep doing justice to their belief and opinion. Securing myself consistently within top five in school days every year crowned me with admiration and appreciation from everyone. In that entire process I established a robust belief system within me that,' keep working harder & harder and success will chase you'. 
        The day was 26.11. 2008, I still remember. I was in graduation third year after appearing in my second year examination just three months back.  On the day of judgement, my university announced that at the cost of past one year hard work I managed to score only 47% aggregate in my subject, Chemistry. Right after entering in my college life that self-built robust belief system started shaking quite badly. The hard work was no more in a direct proportional relationship with my success. Day by day I was losing my hard earned 'Signature identity'. I was lost, I was confused, I was extremely uncomfortable in that unknown land of disappointment. Struggling like anything to find out 'What is actually missing'!!! I used to study thoroughly, systematically as I used to do in my school life. I didn't choose any wrong subject as chemistry was all time most favorite subject of mine.  
             Two years ago, I refused to follow the old age tradition of appearing in all India joint entrance examination for Engineering & Medical, because I  dreamed of being a successful chemist and chemist only. But for some unknown reason the entire universe started pointing its index finger to me. I didn't see my parent's smiling face that time, I stopped receiving appreciation form my teachers and relatives. Slowly I witnessed my identity to be transformed from 'Hard Worker' to 'Below Average'. I passed the entire year in trying to give a re-birth to myself and fighting hard to rediscover my lost identity. 

     One day the final year examination knocked the door. It was supposed to be the last day in college before examination. Like everyone else I reached college to collect my admit card and was informed that my admit card has not been dispatched from university and I have to collect it directly from university. Accompanied by my mother I rushed to university for my admit card. But upon checking the dispatched list of admit cards I came to know somehow they missed to issue an admit card against me. So I was a final year graduation candidate that time who is going to appear in her final examination just after three days and that too without any valid roll number. When all other candidates were engrossed in their last hour studies, I was doing my last hour preparation for getting my admit card. Finally, when I got my ticket to exam hall, only last eighteen hours were left to do my 11th hour preparation.

                 On 9th July, 2009 the result declaring website instructed me to put my Roll No in the blank space and then to click submit button. Upon submission, the screen was showing 'The candidate did not appear/Invalid roll number'. One more battle was started to fix this issue. The battle field was of course the main university campus once again. Around mid August they discovered the reason behind the chaos. Due to some technical fault (or appropriately some manual error) my roll number was not listed in their system and my marks were not recorded in the website. Finally when I got my final mark sheet  it was the month of September. All my batch mates already started their master course by that time. But I had a year lack for not having my mark sheet at proper time. All those unwanted disturbance and obstacles toughened me enough, I was broken though but I refused to quit. Next year I cracked the M.Sc entrance test and got admitted to IIT for carrying my dream forward. 
          I am a person who generally hates to tell her own story. It makes me feel odd. I know for most of my readers the story of my 'My Doomsday Moment' seemed like a very much ordinary story with apparently negligible impact on my life. But those ordinary 'Doomsday Moments' taught me some extraordinary lessons of life forever which I can't resist to share .
  • Some time the universe will please us with some extra ordinariness e.g some extraordinary talent, extraordinary looks, enrichment, extraordinary relationships, extraordinary fame and popularity etc. making us feel satisfied or blessed enough. But certainly it is not going to give us the pleasure like 'Buy 1 Get 1' basis. 
  • It (the Universe or in other words the Almighty) will keep a sharp eye on us. It will throw test papers on us to check how worthy we are of this extra ordinariness. The test papers often come as 'Doomsday Moment' in our life.
  •  We should never show denial or escapism to these test papers. Rather we should appear in test with calm mind, strong faith and everyone's blessing and good wishes. That is the only way of showing respect to Universe's (or Almighty's) judgement process.
  • If we at least put sincere efforts to pass the test (even if we can't pass the test completely) the Universe will definitely reward us at the end. Believe me, that reward will come like 'Buy 1 Get 3' basis.
  • In the entire process we must keep our Karmic Account neat and clean. Only then we can avail 'Buy 1 Get 3 offer' vert smoothly.
  • At last but not the least while answering these test papers, we should try to reveal every possible lessons that Universe wants us to learn directly and indirectly.
  In the year of 2012 when my name was announced on the convocation stage as a gold medalist, once again I witnessed a transformation of my 'Signature Identity' through my mother's teary eyes, my father's proud face,the clapping ear shots, my friend's shouting voice calling my name loud.The identity was transformed from 'Below Average' to 'The Golden Girl from IIT'. It was rather much much more than 'Buy 1 Get 3', I guess. 

This post is a part of Write Over The Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

I pray for all my silent readers, may they reveal their own 'Signature Identity' and do everything possible to flourish the identity more and more. Please share your feelings before leaving.

1 comment:

  1. Darun ! Amar ta o onekta e ek rokom, kintu Gold Medalist hoi ni Keep On your hard work..


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